J Stands For
by TatraMegami
Summary: [We're here to] discuss something very mysterious. Now what, you may ask, is so mysterious..."


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, and that's that. - Tatra 

J Stands For 

Duo plopped down next to the meditating Wufei. 

"HI WU-MAN!" He yelled before scrambling up and running behind the couch. 

"Maxwell!" Wufei yelled, reaching for his katana. 

"Chill Wu-man-" Duo cut off when Wufei started to charge the couch. 

Wufei was stopped in his charge by Heero's gun pointed at him. 

"Continue and I'll shoot," Heero said. 

"Calm down Wufei, I just wanted to get your attention," Duo called out from his crouch behind the couch. 

"Did you have to do it that way Duo?" Quatre asked. 

"Yes," Duo replied. 

Quatre sighed. 

"I have brought you here today-" Duo was cut off by Wufei. 

"You didn't bring us here," Wufei said, "that's an injustice!" 

"Okay I got all of your attention by annoying Wufei to discuss something very mysterious. Now what, you may ask, is so mysterious, why people have ten toes, Wufei's toe fungus, what umbrella's are for, those are very mysterious, but not what we're going to talk about. What we're going to talk about is what Doctor J's initial means," Duo said with a grin. 

"You interrupted me for that?" Wufei asked. 

"Yeah, I was thinking it stood for Jam or Jelly, what do you think?" Duo asked. 

"It's creative, but have you ever heard of someone with that name?" Quatre asked. 

"Exactly! That would be why he just goes by J!" Duo exclaimed. 

Quatre blinked, confused by Duo's logic. 

"That's stupid," Wufei snorted. 

"You have a better idea?" Duo asked. 

"Jones, something other than Jelly," Wufei replied. 

"Well I was also thinking Jellyfish but I thought the other two were better candidates," Duo said. 

"It could be Jackson," Quatre suggested. 

"To ordinary, how 'bout Japplehead? Or Jitterbugboy! That would explain the shortening!" Duo exclaimed. 

"No one would name their child that," Wufei said. 

"Maybe he named himself," Duo replied. 

"Then wouldn't he rename himself when he tired of the first name?" Wufei asked. 

"Nah," Duo dismissed the idea,"Jingleheimer or Jackmaster, you know the game?" 

"No," Wufei answered. 

"You have a ball and these little spike thingies and you bounce the ball then you're supposed to grab the spike thingies and then catch the ball before it bounces again, you should try it!" Duo explained. 

"Were does Jack come in?" Wufei asked. 

"The 'spike thingies', as Duo puts it, are called jacks," Quatre answered. 

"Then why didn't he say so," Wufei said. 

"I've got the perfect name," Duo paused, "Bert!" 

"Bert," Wufei repeated. 

"Duo, that doesn't start with a J," Quatre said. 

"Oh, it fits him though," Duo said. 

He was silent for a second, then he pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it. 

"What's that?" Quatre asked. 

"All the likely word that I found in a mini dictionary," Duo answered. 

"Okay," Quatre replied and shook his head. 

"How 'bout Jimbo, or Jet," Duo suggested. 

"That's the closest you've come to a real human name," Wufei said, amazed. 

"What, Jimbo?" Duo asked. 

"No, the second one, Jet," Wufei cried out. 

"Then that can't be it," Duo said, "how 'bout Jocose, Jejune, or Jib?" 

"He could be named something ordinary, like Jacobs," Wufei said. 

"Nah, it's Reverse Trap for sure," Duo replied. 

"That also doesn't have a J in it," Quatre pointed out. 

"Then it has to be Jiffy, there's no other name possible," Duo said confidently. 

"You do know that J is just a code name, don't you, it's not part of his name," Heero spoke up. 

"His name must be Bert then," Duo said happily. 

Quatre and Wufei sighed, they had done all that arguing for nothing. 

Just then the phone rang. Duo jumped up and ran into the other room, disregarding the phone in the room that was next to Heero. 

"Heero, phone for you, it's Bert!" Duo called as he entered the room with the phone. 

Dou handed the phone to Heero. 

"Tell Bert that Wu-man says hi," Duo said. 

"Maxwell! I'm going to cut your braid off for that name business!" Wufei yelled as he started to chase Duo. 

END 


End file.
